Saturday, March 17, 2007
Places to avoid
This one is called Zanzibar bar in NYC and if the stupidly echoing name doesn't raise a red flag I'll do it for you.
A bouncer checks your ID but doesn't bother to open the heavy door for you. Then, as you walk in, at least four employees stare at you with grinning faces like you just stepped into a trap but you're yet to find out. Then a person greets you, how nice, let's pretentiously call her the Maitre'D. You are then briskly lead by another one, the Leader, to the wardrobe where another one, the Wardrobe lady, who looks a bit ashamed to be a part of the whole scam, takes your coats. As you get your coat tags, another grinning person, the Who's this, leads you to the table where another one, the Menu messenger, brings some heavy one pound wooden menus with a mere seven dubious concoctions with pretentious names written on it and priced at or around $16 each. Then the Waitress comes. It was Friday night.
At this point I took a quick look around, I saw the fake atmosphere, the scattered customers with a niche for false sophistication and a lack of taste and the all around weirdness and made up my mind. "Let's go", I said.
The bouncer, the Maitre'D, the Leader, the Wardrobe lady, the Who's this, the Menu messenger and the Waitress, seven people work for this place before you get to order a drink.
If anybody ever recommends this place to you, do this: kick him in the balls, knee him in the forehead and punch him in the nose. If balls are not an option, just bitch slap her, whatever that means.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Brownie it the other way, please!
It's only February, yet one item cemented a spot on The Most Idiotic Things of the Year list. A restaurant in Atlantic City serves a brownie for $1,000.
Now, let's relax a bit. There's a video about it on yahoo. People are asked to give their opinion on the matter. Each and every one of them climbs right on top of the afore mentioned list with their answers. Not even one of them states the obvious:
- What do you think?
- I think it's pure stupidity, to make it and to buy it.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Stop the translation!
- Ce faci?
- Imi descarc niste empitriuri de pe net.
In clipa asta te gindesti sa-ti infunzi miinile in buzunare , sa apuci tot ce gasesti acolo, portofel, bilet de tramvai, pixuri, pachet de tigari, bricheta si sa i le infunzi pe toate in gura, dupa care sa i le indesi cu pumnul pina in esofag.
O alta varianta ar fi sa te gindesti cum bietul Internet a aparut in Romania si a cazut pe mina unor imberbi tocilari cu noua clase la activ si creierasul plin de informatii inutile, precum engleza de liceu industrial si cum viziunea lor geniala "in citiva ani toata lumea o sa se dea pe net" a deschis cutia cu viermi a traducerilor brutale din engleza si in acest domeniu, Internetul. Mi-ar placea sa ii pun in spatele unui camion plin cu saci cu cartofi si sa le spun: Download this! Probabil dupa douazeci de minute de gindire profunda ar decide ca am invatat si eu engleza la vreun industrial si confund download cu unload. Hmm, cum ramine cu Internetul insa?
Dar inapoi la empitriuri! Oare "muzica" nu suplineste imbecilitatea suficient? Mp3 sau wma sau orice altceva, pina la urma asculti muzica.
De pe net, desigur. Traducem on line ca la liceu pentru ca in line inseamna cu totul altceva.
Si in sfirsit, net. De unde pina unde? In engleza net inseamna ceva in context. In romana inseamna deja ceva, cu totul altceva, dar ce mai conteaza.
- Incearca deci sa te intorci undeva in clasa a doua, cind erai mai inteligent. Ce faci?
- Iau muzica din, litera mare, Internet.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Was it ever out?
Monday, September 25, 2006
At peace with war
Friday, September 22, 2006
Monkeys in space
Another empty minded millionaire is going to travel in space. Great, she dreamed about exploring space since childhood. Now she can finally do it. Why? Because she has more money than she needs and she obviously isn't able to put it to good use. Meanwhile, thousands of people who dreamed about exploring space and actually pursued a career that should lead to that are being constantly thrown to the backburner and will never experience space travel, never, in their lives. It's impossible. There's not enough room for them.
The list of wealthy anonymous however is getting longer and longer. Celebrities are jumpin' in too. They had enough of dumping to charities, they realised it doesn't get enough coverage anymore. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that A-list celebrities still give their tax money to charities rather than stuffing it into the bottomless Taxman's pockets. I really do.
But flying in space for 20 million dollars?
Who do you think you are, after all?
In this last case it's a nobody who wants to buy her own celebrity. A whimsical lunatic looking for bragging topics at her nail polishing sesions. 20 million dollars just to have a satisfactory sensation similar to what you could get on a $200 space flight simulator ride. You can even buy the thing, why not, Michael Jackson bought a full size roller coaster once. Then you can have your nails done in simulated space, right in your backyard so you won't have to worry about breaking 'em every time you want to touch something and you get slapped, along with a timely "Don't touch!"
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The Mets, the Champions
Here it is. The 2006 NY Mets are the 2006 National League East Champions. They got there by playing the most amazing type of baseball I've ever seen. Sweeps and blowouts, come frome behind wins, luck-ridden games and dominant performances, you name it they did it this year, more than once.
This was the first step, with two more to come. Will they go all the way, will they fall short by a whisker, will they march over everybody or will it be a battle in every single playoff game they play? You never know. Just keep watching them, they deserve it. They play amazin' baseball again.